The Process

I don't recall ever hearing the phrase "enjoy the process" until five years ago.  It could be that every single one of my teachers used this expression and I just didn't hear it as I stared out the window daydreaming about boys.  Perhaps it is a relatively new idiom that has caught like wildfire.  Or maybe I had heard it, but had no clue what it meant until I began to work in the real world. 

Whatever the reason for my ignorance, this idea was spoken to me by my boss five years ago.  "Enjoy the process" is her mantra, she could have made it up for all I know.  Five years ago, I began the job I currently have as a teacher in an early childhood center.  I signed on before the center was even up and running.  There were no classroom shelves, no toys and no children.  No problem.  My job was something of a dream.  I helped order classroom supplies, began planning lessons and dreamed about the day children would be hard at work in complete harmony on the lessons I had created. 

Then the day came for children to arrive and I realized starting something from scratch was almost as difficult as speaking into the darkness and creating the sun.  And by difficult, I mean impossible.  There were days I would go home and cry because my class was so out of my control.  Life had not prepared me for managing a classroom and the behaviors the children brought to school with them. At the end of every day I felt like a failure.  And  I was sure the parents of my students, as well as my co-workers, felt the same way about me. 

When I mentioned my sentiments to my boss she smiled, with a calm that still kind of irks me, and said those three little words, "enjoy the process."  What?  My mind was screaming "what in the world is there to enjoy?"  I quickly decided I hated the process.  The process was stupid.  I wanted the process to endure a slow and painful death and see how much it liked the process.

Over the next few years I would cringe, internally roll my eyes, and sometimes openly roll my eyes (when I couldn't help but be sassy) whenever this idea was uttered.  And then, as if to heap salt on my wounds, I started hearing this phrase in other places, like church, books I would read, or the dentist.  Well, maybe not the dentist, no one will ever enjoy that process.

Here we are, five years later and I am finally beginning to see the truth in these words.  You don't come out of college prepared for the world as I, in my naivete, had thought.  No, you have to make mistakes to learn and experience failure before you enjoy success.  Most important, you have to go through these difficult times to realize you need Jesus.  There's a reason its impossible to speak light into existence from darkness, we're not God. And we can't navigate this strange sphere without him.

So, the process is important, but can we ever enjoy this time of failure and feeling stupid? Where is the fun in asking for help and relying on God instead of ourselves? I didn't think it was possible.  Failing is too humiliating.  What could there possibly be to enjoy? 

Well Virginia, there may not be a Santa Claus, but there can be some good times in the process.  Believe me, no one is as shocked as I! Don't get me wrong, it's not that I have grown to love failure, I still abhor it.  On the other hand, when I do have a set back I can see it as an opportunity.  Now I can stay alert and see what God is going to do with this impossible situation.  How will he use me, what will he teach me? 

In truth, perhaps I have not learned to "enjoy the process" as much as I have learned to "enjoy what God will do as he guides me through the process".  Somehow I don't think this phrase will catch on, it's a little wordy, but whenever I hear the short and sweet version, the long, wordy version is what will go through my mind.